Let's be the Church

Our student ministry meets in a house....at least that's what it looks from the outside. But walk inside and walls are ripped out, carpet is mismatched, furniture is sporadically arranged, and the smell is funky. It was recently described as "ghetto-rific." It's on the property adjacent to our church building, and the youth LOVE it.

We meet in it Wednesday nights for youth group and Sunday mornings for Sunday school. Occasionally the house is home to a lock-in, youth event, or Friday-night fifth quarter, but the majority of the time it just sits there, empty. I've had a dream forever of it being open on weekdays after school for homework and hanging out, and on weekend nights for a safe alternative to what so many high schoolers choose. It's in the works, but in the meantime...

Tonight, a group other that 901west met in it. Young Life set up camp in our space....and it was incredible! I loved the opportunity for "our" little house to get used another night of the week.

One of our staff members asked me last week about the possibility of an adult small group meeting in the house once a week. Absolutely! 

In my mind, it comes down to being a good steward of this space God has given us, and well as embracing a vision to be the Church, emphasis on the capital C. Having a group like Young Life in the house on Monday nights, or a small group on Thursday nights definitely comes with obstacles. Those political, logistical things church leaders LOVE to deal with.

Who's going to be responsible for cleaning it? Who's in charging up opening and locking up? How are we going to pay the extra utilities? Will it interfere with what "our" church needs the building for? Will the trash service collect that much garbage? Do we have a good enough insurance policy?

I say to hell with that. And I don't mean to that to be crass or crude, but I mean it quite literally. I think those are the questions that Satan uses to break up the potential of the Church. Are they things, important things, things that need to be addressed? For sure! But should they define our decisions? Not it we can help it. 

What if sharing space meant that my youth group kids all came to Young Life, and brought with them their amazing ability to build community? And what if the YL kids, looking for a place to be spiritually fed, started attending our youth group on Wednesdays?

What if a member of the small group was in the construction or cleaning or home repair field, and in exchange for use of the building did some volunteer work hooking up our new stove and rewiring some light fixtures?

And beyond that...what if we invited the Spanish church around the block to join in our Upward Football program, and that built relationships leading to using our facilities to teach ESL classes to our neighbors, a vast number of whom are Hispanic?

And in all these situations, what if we didn't "get anything in return?" Alright then! We are still called to serve, to help others, to love. Sometimes our American Christian pride gets in the way. We're selfish. And that's when things become US and OURS! None of it belongs to you or me, it's all God's to begin with. I'd like to make the most with the things God has entrusted to me.

The Christian school gymnasium around the corner, the empty field next door, the family-owned convenience store down the street...the list goes on and on. My mind is racing with possibilities of partnerships, opportunities to be the Church. In February, our Student Ministry is joining with a few others in the area to participate in the 30 Hour Famine. We get to serve (and starve) along with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. It's students supporting students. It's a church and a church being the Church.

This is the kind of church I want my kids to see. A church that makes the most of every opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I'm pretty sure that back in the day if Jesus wanted to use your backyard to preach a sermon or use your house to host a banquet, you wouldn't worry about if it would kill the grass or dirty your floor or use the last of your food. You would gladly welcome Him in, and all who followed. The rest of the details would work themselves out, because God has a way of providing like that.

So let's partner together. Let's realize that what we do in our lives and churches is so much bigger than just what we do in our lives and churches. What organizations in your community can you join up with? What resources...time, spaces, skills, people...can you share? Not just in organized church, but in personal ministry as well? Can you cook, clean, babysit? Get to it! Let's be the Church.

The Jews & Gentiles in my Student Ministry

I haven't blogged in far too long and I have a long list of reasons why, but they're all excuses and not worth it, so I'll save it. Tonight I just had to post though when I realized everything I wanted to reflect on from tonight was far too much for a mere Facebook status.

What happened:
Tonight I staged a little...ok, a lot...of conflict in my youth group. I wanted them to understand the whole Jew/Gentile situation that the Apostle Paul spoke to in the second chapter of Ephesians. I picked one loud, out-spoken, senior guy to kick it off. I was two minutes into complimenting my youth group on the amazing community they've formed when he interrupted proposing that the middle schoolers are lame and the high schoolers are supreme. His words were along the lines of "we're here, then there's fifty layers of crap, and then there's the middle schoolers." Harsh, but I went with it. Others of my high schoolers (pre-planned) added in how middle schoolers weren't spiritually on par, goofed off too much, etc. My volunteers were first to speak up on behalf of the middle schoolers. They were jumping out of their seats, making reallllllly angry faces, shaking fists, so worked up. It was fantastic. They also seemed extremely concerned and confused at the fact that I was allowing this! The middle schoolers tried to defend themselves, but the high schoolers were vicious. And I just let it happen :) It was when I finally called on one volunteer, a mom, who started with "I hope you guys are trying to pull something over my head, because..." That was when I decided the jig was up, and it was time to break down the illustration.

What I realized:
1. Our actions and words are so effective!! I had middle schoolers and volunteers on the verge of tears. I had new visitors who said they "couldn't believe what was happening and never wanted to come back." (Don't worry...we cleared up that none of it was for real!!) In order to create true community, we can't have divisiveness among us! Our youth group is strong because we are the exact opposite of how that group of high schoolers acted tonight.

2. I have the most amazing team of volunteers around. I owe them a serious apology for not cluing them in beforehand on what was happening, but I think it worked for the better of the illustration! Seriously though, the way they stood up for my poor and persecuted middle schoolers was unreal. The first student wasn't through ripping on them before leaders were on the feet and ready to fight. They recognize the value of community in a youth group! There was no way they were gonna let anything happen tonight that would take away from that.

3. I love my kids! For the ones who were part of the act, I love how they totally went with these roles that were completely out-of-character with who they really are. Towards the end, some kids knew it had to be an act because they couldn't imagine their peers acting that way. And then the picked-on middle schoolers...seeing how hurt they were really shows me how much they value and respect the high schoolers. When a person you don't know cuts you down, it doesn't have much effect. But when someone you look up to disses you, it cuts deep. Seeing their level of disbelief reaffirmed the bond they have across grade levels.

Overall...success. So much fun breaking it down with students and leaders afterwards and hearing what was going on in their heads...what a night :)

Unplugged: More than just rolls.

A lot of my attention these past eight weeks has been focused on Unplugged, the college ministry at Legacy Christian Church. It started as a "singles" ministry four years ago, and though now we refer to it as our college/young adult ministry, it is essentially still a group of young, unmarried people. It's a grassroots ministry effort that is now serving as a model for college ministries all over the country, as friends have learned here and now taken their leadership abilities and started their own groups. We love our "satellite campuses" in New Jersey and Michigan!

This year Unplugged continues to grow in overwhelming ways. We are trying to better connect the students who meet in the Pauls' house on Sunday nights with the greater congregation that meets in our building on Sunday mornings. Two weeks ago we launched A.M.unplugged, an ABF class during our first service which targets this group.

The following is a recent promo video we produced to share this ministry we love so much.

(You can find a full length version of this video here.)

A year a half ago, our fearless leaders at Unplugged were recognized by Reggie Joiner and Orange. Below is the essay Beth and I wrote to our friends at Orange explaining why we believe Tim and Marilyn deserved the prestigious Orange Award. It's long, but well worth the read, and I hope it inspires you, gives you hope, and encourages you, whatever your ministry.

At first glance, Tim and Marilyn Paul are your average run-of-the millI people--60 years old, running a business, working jobs, having family dinner nights and attending grandkidsʼ t-ball games. Tim is a southern boy with a good accent and a fishing pole and a stocked gun cabinet, and Marilyn is a kind sweet woman with a gift of hospitality (and making cookies with no recipe). I (Sarah) have known them for a few years now as my “Florida parents.” Having moved from Michigan to Florida for college, they were the ones at my church to find me at a critical time in my life and embrace me, take me in, and love me as parents would. I spent many tearful evenings as a college student at the Paulsʼ crying over coffee with Marilyn, and many afternoons gleaning wisdom from Tim on one subject or another.

When I asked Beth to give me an anecdote about the Pauls to share as well, she could really only say they did the exact same thing for her, only she was already post-college. We laughed as we realized (as we have before) that Marilyn and Tim make everyone feel like family, that you are one of their own, that you are more than welcome and you donʼt ever need an invitation (even for Christmas Dinner).

In the fall of 2008, Legacy Christian Church started a ministry called “Unplugged.” At first it was a group of people without a definite demographic--singles, college students, young adults, a handful of young marrieds thrown in. Tim and Marilyn were the couple who felt called to voluntarily lead this group.

It started meeting at their home on Sunday nights from 6:30-8:30 PM. Marilyn prepared an AMAZING home cooked meal (and incredible desserts) which was followed by a teaching from Tim. Timʼs topics of discussion varied, but the thing thatʼs amazing is that he is willing to talk about anything. At Unplugged we cover topics that typically the church avoids, because they are messy or hard or simply easier not to deal with. Those are the discussions Tim takes head on and develops material out of--things young people need to know and talk about in a safe and loving environment. He pours through the Scripture and finds verses and stories and truly shares from his heart and life experiences.

Whatʼs so amazing about Tim and Marilyn isnʼt just the cooking or the lessons, itʼs their hearts. These two people love the Lord with everything they have in them, and that translates out to the people around them. Financially, itʼs a burden, but you would never know it. There is virtually no budget for the ministry, but they selflessly gave up their own spending habits to have more to put into their ministry. They also give up a remarkable amount of time. Though we technically only meet for two hours, Marilyn spends countless hours preparing food, and the same is true for Timʼs lessons. After our meetings, people are there until late in the evening, sharing burdens and stories. But the Pauls know no limits! They are always willing to talk and listen and pray.

In August of 2010, the Unplugged leadership team hit a rough patch. Tim and Marilyn were tired (though theyʼd never admit it). They wanted to transition to solely college ministry, but werenʼt sure how to transition and still provide a group for the “older folks.”Both of us (Beth and Sarah) were out of college and werenʼt really sure where our place was. Our group of 10 to15 was definitely struggling, and we were about ready to throw in the towel.

Thatʼs when God reminded us of just how amazing He is. School was back in session for the three universities in town, and all of a sudden students just starting showing up out of nowhere! We had a week where there were about 25 people, and we were thrilled to see so many! By word of mouth the group expanded significantly. We were shocked when the next week there were 40, and a month after that we were averaging over 60 college students...and still cramming them all into a house!

Simply put, the love pouring out of Tim and Marilyn was infectious. Students wanted to put aside their busy schedules and come be a part of was was happening. Sure, free food is a great draw, but there is so much more than that at Unplugged. One student recently stated that our ministry shirts will read “Unplugged! Come for the rolls, stay for Jesus.” Tim and and Marilyn have made their house “home” to so many of us, and that is something every college student needs. Youʼre not a stranger; youʼre welcome there.

We used to plan events for the ministry--movie nights, putt-putt outings, bowling--but we realized thatʼs no longer what we need. Yes, Marilyn makes cookies every week and we deliver them to all the new visitorsʼ dorms, but even home made cookies arenʼt what are making a difference. All these students long for is someone who cares, someone who loves them and is willing to show it by opening up their home for a few hours on Sunday night.

Marilyn and Tim would be so “angry” at us that we write these words about who they are. They would respond to these words with: “We love unplugged, itʼs one of our favorite times of the week,” and “Itʼs OUR blessing that we get to have all the young people at our home.” You see, thatʼs the thing, the biggest thing, the only thing; Marilyn and Tim give God all the glory, all the honor and all the praise for Unplugged. They are humbled, as we all are, each time we meet at what God is doing around us and for us.

***

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Gleep = What I Call Community

We need community. If you’re not part of a community, you need to find one. If you can’t find one, you need to make one.

Four years ago, my new-ish friend Beth and I decided we needed a community. But at the time, we didn’t even know it. We hand selected a Bible study group...basically a bunch of people we thought were cool and wanted to be friends with. It was a pretty random group, too - some married, some single...some parents, some not...and an eleven year age gap between the oldest and youngest (me). 

What’s amazing is that “community” is what we actually became. Seven - and then a year later, eight - of us began regularly meeting on Monday nights for dinner, prayer, and an ambitious goal to read through the Bible in a year. But soon our relationship turned into more than just weekly meetings reading the Bible and sharing prayer requests with one another. We also joined together to watch Sunday afternoon football games, walk through the nature preserve and look for gators, eat Jimmy John’s and cheer during the World Cup, and a cruise to the Bahamas. 

Four years later, we still haven’t made it through even the Old Testament. In fact, our Bible study has completely lapsed. But what’s amazing is that the community has remained. In four years time, so much has happened. We’ve supported each other through break-ups, divorce, and Beth’s wondrous marriage to Nick, moving our little community population up to nine. Seven of us have moved to different houses, some across town and some across the country. We’ve ALL had at least one job change, some two or three. Lindi was born, a new niece to seven of us and a daughter to two. One of us graduated, three of us started school. For every single one of us, life is seriously 180 degrees different from what it was when we started life together.

There has been so much opportunity for our community to fall apart, to lose touch, to fade away. Yet as I write this, we are on the plane back from our most recent family vacation, a trip to visit Beth and Nick in New Jersey. I’m crying as Shelli is next to me and quietly singing “blessed be You name, in the land that is plentiful, where the streams of abundance flow, blessed be Your name...” and no words seem more fitting. How in the world nine of us were able to get off work, away from family, and free of other obligations on the same weekend is something only God could ordain. Then again, he’s ordained our entire friendship since the beginning, so why would that be a surprise? 

This weekend I spent time on a military base, where people are constantly moving in and out, and solid community is hard to keep. When families are there, it’s not too difficult, but as soon as they move on to their next assignment, it’s easy to lose touch. I met a theatre student at the Staten Island Ferry whose words about life in the city were “It’s kind of hard to make real friends.” She recalled her days of high school, where attending Young Life camp in upstate New York made her feel like she was part of a really special community.

Seeing and hearing these things remind me of how incredible blessed I am. I have community everywhere I look. I have friends who are family, family who are friends, and a youth group whose community is noticed by everyone who meets them. And I NEED that! I need people who know me better than I know myself, who call me out on my junk, who make me laugh till I pee my pants. I need Becca, a sister who’s a my twin. I need Lisa, who is the same person as me. I need Beth to be the Ramona to my Theodora.  I need Kandace and Katie, students who call me out when they can see me right through me. I need Michael, who has a passion for youth ministry that is unmatched. I need Shelli to take two hours out of her day to stand in the bathroom and pick lice out of my hair...twice. And I need so many more people I can’t even begin to mention without a) wanting to cry or b) making this the longest blog post in the history of Blogspot.

So to end this like I started it, I need community. We ALL need community. The hardest person in the world needs someone they can turn to, someone who loves them despite all their flaws. If you don’t have community, find it or make it! Seek out a group who you can do Bible study with, be accountable to. Make Christ the center. I dare you to tell me it doesn’t change your life.

the Gleep family (l to r): Beth, Eric, Katie, Me, Chris, Shelli, Scott, Amy, & Nick. Love them.

three years...and counting.

A lot can happen in a day...a lot can happen in a week...and a lot can happen in three years.

Rewind. I was dating the "man of my dreams." We'd made it through a long-distance summer and now I was back in Lakeland. I was finishing up my last semester of classes, with only my internship left. I had a solid group of friends, providing the community I'd been longing for. I thought the pieces of life's puzzle were finally all fitting together.

But then in a day, the world came crashing down. He dumped me. I didn't know what to do, what to say, what to think. I only knew that it was over, and I was devastated. The plans I had for my future, the colors I'd dreamed about for our some-day wedding, the visions of life and joy and happiness crumbled in one night with pizza, Marley and Me, and a tearful, long conversation. A lot happened in a day.

But then in a week, there was a phone call. A job offer. A DREAM job offer. Oh, it was just tentative for the next couple months, and unpaid, but if it went well, it would result in a part-time job. And if that went well, upon graduation, a full-time job would be placed in my lap. Feelings of the physical and emotional turmoil of the week subsided as I grasped the reality of the turn my life could be taking. A lot happened in a week.

A day...a week...but the first sentence of this post also said three years. Because that's how long it's been. This month unbelievably marks three years since the break up and the job offer. And A LOT can happen in three years. A lot of GOOD can happen in three years.

I can't believe I've been on staff at Legacy for three years, with the privilege of serving as student minister. I can't believe the middle schoolers I started with even before that are graduating high school this year. And I can't believe all the blessings that have come along the way

Every time my bank account has loomed toward zero, God supplies. Every time I think my stress level can't get any higher, God provides. Every time...shoot, why even bother with all the examples? Let's just say God has been SO good.

It's amazing what happens when you let go of your dreams and grab a hold of God's dreams for you. In the last three years I've definitely had a lot of job opportunities and offers come my way. If I'm being completely honest, I've tried to pursue a few of them. But in the end, for whatever reason, God hasn't released me from here. At three years, I've made it past the average youth minister stay time. And I love it! I love the consistency that has been able to provide for my kids.

I'm leaving to head to Catalyst in about two minutes, so somehow I need to wrap this up when I really haven't gotten a main thought out there. I guess what I'm trying to say is this: if you're in a season of life where things are tough and you don't see the end, hang in there. They day will come when you look back and think "wow, three years ago..." And if you're in a season where life is full of joy and happiness abounds, enjoy it! Realize that every day is a gift from God and remember these days when the hard ones come.

Three years...so many struggles, so infinitely more joys. God is good.

Divine Encouragement

I'm struggling finding a sentence with which to start this post. My goal is to be regularly blogging posts of encouragement, words to help friends who are in the trenches of ministry, who may happen to find themselves in well-worn shoes similar to mine. But that goal of encouragement is hard to reach on when days when I feel like I need an encouraging word myself.

It's no secret that ministry is hard. Bearing the burdens of others, fervently coming to the Lord on their behalf, praying and hoping (not always patiently) that certain things come to fruition...it can weigh a person down. And I find myself needing constant reminders of why I do what I do. I know I love my job, I know I'm where God's called me to be, I know I don't see myself doing anything else right now. Yet even with all that knowledge, sometimes I need to look in the eye the reason why my life is ministry.

This past week, that reason looked like this:

These notes contain the hearts of my students. They are filled with the things they themselves are struggling with, are discouraged by. They are cries for help, asking someone just to listen to them and come alongside as they walk through every day life. When I see something like this, I feel needed. I feel like what I do matters...and there is huge encouragement in that! Maybe that sounds a little too egocentric, and I'm fully aware that God doesn't need me in this at all...He could accomplish his purposes through anyone in this position any way he wanted. Yet He's chosen me for that job. He handpicked me to be here, and to be here now. 

When I find myself discouraged, sometimes knowing that I'm chosen is the best encouragement of all.

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians 1:3-6

i may be restless, but He won't relent.

"You won't relent until You have it all"...the Jesus Culture lyrics that just won't leave my head.

"I am restless, looking for You"...the Switchfoot lyrics that are stuck in my heart.

I think it might be that "restless" time of year, at least it is in my life. It's that time when summer travels are over, camp "spiritual highs" have faded, and all I see ahead is BUSYNESS. And I love busyness. I thrive on busyness. Yet amidst the crazy, I'm willing to admit that in the busyness, I often lose sight of the important. I tend to bury myself in the busy, putting aside my needs in an attempt to be everything to everyone. I want to show up at every volleyball game, every swim meet, every fine arts showcase, every football game. It's so easy to forget about ME. And there's a way to think of myself without being selfish. There is a physical part of me that needs to be taken care of with regular work-outs and healthy eating. There is an emotional and mental side of me that thrives on time spent in conversation with friends. And there is a spiritual hunger in my life than needs to be fed with time spend in the Word and in prayer.

And when these physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual quotas aren't being filled, restlessness moves in, unpacks his suitcase, and throws his feet up on the coffee table. I find myself entertaining other job offers. I find my mouse clicking over to see if Allegiant has any great deals on a quick trip home. I find sleepless nights with my brain running a thousand miles a minute.

But what I love is the second part of that Switchfoot lyric: "I am restless...looking for You." That's what it always comes down to. What I'm looking for is not going to be filled in busying my time even more by adding Young Life and FCA to the mix. Restlessness won't go away by planning College Ministry events to fill up my time when the Student Ministry calendar is free. And I definitely won't find fulfillment in looking up one more plane ticket I can't afford. It's Jesus...that's who I'm restless for. Time spent with Him - knowing Him - is from where the restlessness stems.

All summer I drilled that into the heads of my students...you need to desire to know GOD more than you desire to know GOD's WILL. And that's easier than it sounds, which is why I am SO grateful for the message of that second song. God won't relent until He has it all. He won't stop pursuing until He has ALL of me. Literally there is no stop He won't pull for me...because of His love...for me. Wow. Wrap your head around that one! 

"Come, be the fire inside of me. Come be the flame upon my heart. Come be the fire inside of me until you and I are one." Relentless, not restless...that's what I'm going for today.

Where to Begin?

This blog has been in my heart for longer than I can remember or care to admit. A blog that would be a place for me to share my heart, to bring laughter, to bring tears, to bring light. But where does one begin when writing that "very first blog post"? My days of Xanga and other short-lived personal blogs are behind me.

In February I sat across a table from Josh Griffin, and we talked blogging. His advice? Find your passion, and then WRITE! Figure out who you want to talk to, and what you want to say. And if you don't know what to stay, still sit down and write! It will come.

My passion is youth ministry. But not just youth ministry...it's equipping others to do youth ministry. And as a young, single, female who struggles every day in a field that is largely dominated by men wearing plaid shirts, hot wives at their sides, I want to support others in the same boat as myself. Where my single ladies at?!?

It's hard coming home on a Wednesday night to your one-bedroom apartment with no one but Jesus and your teddy bear to recap how your youth service went. It's hard when no one tells you to stop and you keep going and going until you break. It's hard when you return home from a mission trip and all your students are greeted by waiting friends and family, and you wish your family didn't live 1200 miles away. It's hard when classmates are getting married and having babies, and "your kids'' are all 13-18 year olds who really belong to someone else. It's hard when that family at church just won't give you any credibility because you're a female, you're too young, you haven't raised kids...or all three. It's hard when you have all these hopes and dreams for your life, what you'd like to do and where you'd like to live, but you realize youth ministry never gets your closer to achieving a single one. And it's hard when that student loan bill comes, and you get practice your most fervent prayer of the month, because working in the church world just doesn't financially cut it.

It's hard but...it's beautiful. It's beautiful when after a night a night of chaos, you can come home to peace. It's beautiful when God gives you so much strength and energy that you know it can only come from Him. It's beautiful when even though you're 1200 miles away from where you grew up, you still feel at home. It's beautiful when you realize that though you didn't birth them, they ARE your kids...and you don't have to do the parental tough stuff. It's beautiful when you get to grow with your students, and they have a prime example of what it's like to be real. It's beautiful when you realize God's plans are bigger that yours, and He has you right where you need to be. And it's beautiful how God provides by ways of cleaning jobs, babysitting gigs, and unexpected checks from grandparents.

It's hard, it's beautiful, it's the life of a single young woman. It's the life of "that youth pastor girl." It's the life of...me. And so many others! Join me on the journey :)